Amputated Moon

poetry, nature, writing (all writing is the property of the writer and should be considerd copywritten)

Feb 3

She Walks Into the Water

Category: My Poetry
Untitled by Catalin Abagui

Untitled by Catalin Abagui

She walks into the water

parched, wrung dry

in the desert air

 

Floating on the surface

breaths of sand

echo in her ears

 

Rattle of chains that bind

her to you

drift in a current

 

What if I said to you

she swims to

release herself now

Pamela Olson, reposted 2/3/09

For Every Photo Tells A Story

8 comments

8 Comments so far

  1. Rick January 1st, 2008 10:28 am

    I like it, especially the “breaths of sand” image.

  2. Sara February 28th, 2008 7:35 pm

    This is just the kind of poem I like. It reminds me of what I write myself but with more nuances. I like how it starts out dry and ends wet, both in words and emotions.

    I let you a response to your last comment at PWB. Please check it out. Thanks a lot.

  3. Khaled February 4th, 2009 9:33 am

    “She swims to release herself now”

    That’s a striking line…I love your short, wisely made pieces of poems.

  4. Deborah Godin February 4th, 2009 5:21 pm

    Wonderful the way this intrigues without being inscrutable, invites without revealing all. Perfect balance, to my mind. It also reminds me of a photo I took at the beach, a detached doll’s arm, lying on the sand as if the rest of the doll was swimming beneath the sand.

  5. Noah February 4th, 2009 8:13 pm

    Your endings are so amazing.

  6. Brad Frederiksen February 5th, 2009 6:07 am

    I wish her a safe journey.

  7. lissa February 8th, 2009 11:10 am

    I like the first line, each moment leading to the next, nicely presented

  8. Winnie the poohi February 8th, 2009 3:40 pm

    Ahh the contradiction of desert and the water..makes it even more poignant more beautiful

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