Feb 3
She Walks Into the Water
She walks into the water
parched, wrung dry
in the desert air
Floating on the surface
breaths of sand
echo in her ears
Rattle of chains that bind
her to you
drift in a current
What if I said to you
she swims to
release herself now
Pamela Olson, reposted 2/3/09
8 comments8 Comments so far
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I like it, especially the “breaths of sand” image.
This is just the kind of poem I like. It reminds me of what I write myself but with more nuances. I like how it starts out dry and ends wet, both in words and emotions.
I let you a response to your last comment at PWB. Please check it out. Thanks a lot.
“She swims to release herself now”
That’s a striking line…I love your short, wisely made pieces of poems.
Wonderful the way this intrigues without being inscrutable, invites without revealing all. Perfect balance, to my mind. It also reminds me of a photo I took at the beach, a detached doll’s arm, lying on the sand as if the rest of the doll was swimming beneath the sand.
Your endings are so amazing.
I wish her a safe journey.
I like the first line, each moment leading to the next, nicely presented
Ahh the contradiction of desert and the water..makes it even more poignant more beautiful