Soul-less Mate

Oct 7th, 2008 | By The Tuscaloosa Strangler | Category: News & Comment

Even vampires get lonely, even vampires need love.  Unlike the rest of us they can create the perfect  mate, the perfect companion.  All it takes is a nibble here, a nosh there, and voilá: you’ve got a companion for life, er, death, uh … undeath.  Well, forever, if you know what I mean.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some vampire brides over the years.*

Bela and friend

Horror of Dracula

More brides after the jump …

Van Helsing

Dracula 2000 (my personal favorite)

Bride of Dracula (1960)

Chris Lee marries another one.

And there she is.

Yecccchhhh …

That’s better.  Bram Stoker’s Dracula (hubba hubba).

Monster Squad

Ok, that’s just weird.

*I am completely aware that this is incredibly sexist.  I mean, haven’t we gotten over the notion that a female blood-sucker needs a man to complete her?  I tried to find some vampire grooms, I really did, but how many pictures of Andy Warhol can you take?

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13 comments
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  1. bill r. October 8th, 2008 7:56 am :

    Dracula 2000 looks like Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

  2. Jonathan Lapper October 8th, 2008 9:01 am :

    The Van Helsing brides look like they’re posing for a perfume ad.

    “Sanguine by Jean-Paul Gaultier - He’ll want to sink his teeth into you.”

  3. Fox October 8th, 2008 9:56 am :

    It’s not sexist, Rick, just a tad incomplete. Now if you showed the vamp’s partner/”husband” as a zombie, now, then THAT would be a fitting metaphor for the day.

  4. Rick October 8th, 2008 10:41 am :

    Bill, it would almost be worth it … locked in an eternal embrace, etc., etc. …

  5. Rick October 8th, 2008 10:44 am :

    Jonathan, or a Loreal ad …

    It struck me that those look like every teenage mall-girl, only with fangs. I raised one myself, sans fangs

  6. Rick October 8th, 2008 10:50 am :

    Fox,

    do you mean that a zombie is a fitting metaphor for the day because if you were married to a vampire bride you’d never get any sleep?

  7. bill r. October 8th, 2008 1:02 pm :

    Rick - Well, yes. Jennifer Esposito, after all.

  8. Rick October 8th, 2008 1:46 pm :

    Yes. Whatever happened to her?

  9. bill r. October 8th, 2008 3:14 pm :

    I just checked. Apparently, there exists a show on television entitled “Samantha Who?”, and she is on it.

  10. Rick October 8th, 2008 4:40 pm :

    oh my god, that’s right … I have seen her on it. She’s still hot.

    And its kind of a funny show, too.

  11. ARBOGAST October 8th, 2008 8:49 pm :

    I love little Andree Melly in Brides of Dracula… she’s so sweet and I’d bet she’d fine me sweet, too.

  12. Rick October 8th, 2008 9:33 pm :

    She’s got that little ol’ me kind of thing going, kind of like a lot of the Southern girls I run into in this neck of the woods.

    But anybody would find you sweet, Arbo …

  13. Jonathan Lapper October 9th, 2008 11:34 am :

    Rick, I just replied to your comment over our argument on science. You have my full apologies. I hope you read it. I meant it sincerely.

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